Tom Brady Headed to Bronco-land

Veteran QB Vows to Come Out of Retirement; Celebration Parade Scheduled in Woodland Park

Travis Phelps


Ever since the 2023 season ended, Denver Bronco fans across the country have been riddled with anxiety concerning next year on the gridiron.

The preliminary reports haven’t been good, a scenario capped by the head coach, Shawn Peyton, stating recently that back-up quarterback Jarret Stidham, would be given the full chance to compete for the top quarterback slot. This just furthered the frustration over the team’s hopes for 2024, with most experts seeing the Broncos headed for another season of playoff blues and possibly a sure cellar spot in the AFC West Division.

Many insiders predicted that Ol’ Rusty Wilson would soon be heading down the road, but speculation mounted about who would replace him.


During the offseason, the Broncos flirted around with a slew of ideas on who to put behind center without much action until last week.

Then, in a surprising and unexpected press conference last Friday, team officials unloaded a virtual bomb when they announced that they have successfully coaxed veteran star quarterback Tom Brady out of retirement to put on an orange jersey.


The development will probably come as a pleasant surprise to many Bronco fans who cringed at the idea of letting Stidham lead the team next fall. Fans have already started to celebrate like they did when Peyton Manning was given the Broncos’ QB job in 2012.


Brady is slated to arrive in Denver this week and some fans have already planned a huge welcoming party with expensive champagne and plans to roll out the red carpet from Brady’s plane. Others have even commenced with plans on building a 200-foot tall golden statue of Tom Brady in the center of downtown Denver.


Coach Peyton said that Tom Brady was exactly what he was looking for when he interviewed dozens of quarterbacks without finding one who synced with him. “I know he’s old but I really like quarterbacks that could be washed up,” Peyton said. “Even though he took a year off, Brady has promised that he will be in tip-top shape when we start training soon.”


Brady though, has received some backlash for his decision to come out of retirement. The Raiders offered him a better contract, but Brady said he wanted to play with a team that actually had a chance at winning the big game in 2025.

In some ways, he classified his decision to return to the NFL, and to make a debut with the Broncos, as personal.

“After my wife divorced me, I just felt lost,” Tom Brady said. “I knew that the only thing that would make me happy is to put on the pads once again. And plus, I really love the no frills, simple offense filled with short screen passes Coach Peyton likes to run.”


The news has enthralled Bronco executives so much that they have decided to give Brady the Number Seven even though the number has been retired as a tribute to former quarterback John Elway. The Broncos offered Brady a giant salary and even gave him an entire level of the box office suites at the Empower Field at Mile High to live in for free.


However, not everyone was happy after hearing the news as many critics contend that Brady’s acquisition will come at too high of a cost. “His giant salary of $100 million a year is just way too much,” sports analyst Joe Schmoe said.


In fact, many have voiced their concerns about the Broncos basically using all of their salary cap money to secure Brady. As a result, the Broncos have already had to cut their entire starting roster to afford Brady, meaning he will be starting on the field this fall with many third-string players.


“Who needs a good team when you have a quarterback like Tom Brady?” Coach Peyton asked. “With my unprecedented genius as a coach and offensive guru, all I need is a quarterback like Tom Brady and we will go undefeated!”


The festivities in Denver start this week with a giant parade planned that will shut down Interstate 25 from Fort Collins to Pueblo. This Thursday, Brady is slated to arrive in Woodland Park riding on an elephant to meet local fans.

Happy April Fools Day!