A Tale Of Online Dating

“Crab Legs”

A tale of online dating ~by Amanda Enloe

I have been doing the online dating thing for about 18 months off and on. I think I’m at the point where I could write a sitcom. For those of you who are curious what the dating world is like now, relaxed, sit back and enjoy.

   James and I had our date at a restaurant in downtown Denver. While waiting for our table, we had a drink at the bar. Conversation was going very well. After we were seated, he ordered us another round of drinks and pulled out the appetizer menu. He was very deliberate in selecting what appetizers he wanted ordered. He politely excused himself to run to the restroom. Our drinks were delivered to the table a few moments later and I sat there patiently waiting for him to return. Ten minutes went by, 20 minutes, finally around 30 minutes later my phone buzzes and it was a text from him. It read, “Hey, I was craving crab legs so I went somewhere else for dinner. You’re welcome to jump into an Uber and join me or I’ll come back and pick you up later.”
I reread the message multiple times and then eventually replied, ” Did you just leave me at the restaurant?”
Almost immediately I receive, “Yes, Amanda. A real man knows what he wants and goes and gets it, and I wanted crab legs. Again, you are welcome to come join me.”
I politely declined his generous offer, paid the bill and went home. Several hours later I receive a phone call from an unidentified phone number. When I answered, the other end of the line was filled with loud music and the sound of a woman’s voice. She introduced herself, apparently she was a dancer at a strip club in downtown Denver. She explained that James was there and had gotten a little bit out of control. She informed me that he was being escorted out of the establishment and when asked for his emergency contact information for somebody to come and pick him up, he gave them my name and number.

And voilà, one of my earliest introductions to online dating.